THE COMPLETE IDIOT’S GUIDE TO AMAZING SEX (By Sari Locker)

As the title of the book suggests, it takes an idiot to teach other idiots how to harness this powerful primordial drive in humankind. Idiot the author may be, but we would remain idiots anyway if we didn’t read the book. Written in 1999, it is still current and absorbing to read.

What makes the book interesting? Firstly, the book is divided into seven parts; each with detailed descriptions so that you know exactly where to go to get answers to your questions. For instance, if you have been having sexual fantasies and need answers, jump into:

Part 5: Sexual Adventures

17 Imagine That! Your Sexual Fantasies
Sexual fantasies can be fun, but are your sexual fantasies healthy? How do you know if you should act them out?

See? It is no sweat. It is so easy to navigate through the book.

Written in a style that is informative yet lighthearted and entertaining, it is easy to assimilate the information. And there is a whole of lot of information. The photos, although graphic are intentionally blurred and the sketches are meant to instruct, not to excite.

The book can be read in any way you like. You can zoom into any part that catches your eye. But I suggest you take it in bite-size so that you can chew on it.

An interesting feature of the book is the inclusion of sextistics, little snippets of information on surveys of sexual behaviours and practices that allow us to look at sexuality globally.

Of primary interest is the myth that the larger the male organ, the more sexually satisfied the female partner will be. This fixation with size and length has traumatized many a male who are less endowed. Rest assured they don’t matter!

Certain practices are of course taboo, for example fellatio (in local lingo: ice-cream) and cunnilingus ( in local lingo ,‘yu chat’ in Hokkien and ‘jilat’ in Malay). Those who have developed a penchant for them will have to be sure who they are doing it with. The book talks about the risk of HIV from oral sex.

Another interesting section touches on how to improve our PC muscle. Never mind what PC stands for. It is hard to pronounce the word anyway. What is the PC muscle? It controls the flow of urine. Exercising this muscle will increase the sexual performance of men and women. The exercises, known as the Kegel Exercises were developed by Dr Arnold Kegel.

The sexual positions described and aided by photos and sketches are nothing new. Chinese, Indian and Japanese erotic art are replete with them. Of course the more extreme positions are intriguing, but they are for the agile and athletic. So bend and twist and stretch at your own risk. The book includes a section on Tantric Sex: the big Om. It alludes to the classic Indian treatise on love and sex, Kamasutra written in the 2nd BC. The curious who wish to know more could surf the net for more information. There are 49 sexual positions, ranging from The Bee to The Ying and Yang.

The various erogenous spots that could heighten a man or a woman’s sexual high are listed in the book. For those who have indulged in straightlaced sex, here is your opportunity to discover what your partner likes. You will have the pleasant duty to explore each other’s ‘hot spots’ to find out. See, even in sex we have to do our homework.

Have you ever come across women who fake orgasm? Advice for women on faking orgasm: never pretend. What are the myths and facts surrounding orgasm? What is the difference between men and women when they are in the spasm of orgasm?

What about the men and women in their 50’s or even 70’s? Many have accepted society’s perception that senior citizens have little or no sexual drive and even if they have, it is wrong for them to be sexually active. But believe me, there are many out there whose 'lingams' are still banging on the door - or is it on the table? The book addresses the issue of sexuality of older people.

I believe the book answers all the questions you want to ask but are either too lazy, too smug, too conservative or too unadventurous to find out.

Throughout the book, one message comes through consistently: experiment, experiment, and experiment. Variety is the spice of sex. It has sidestepped the issue of morality surrounding certain sex acts. It should. It is an educational excursion into the realm of sexual contentment in men and women.